An Open Letter to Ladies During Cuffing Season

via lacooletchic
I want to address something that a lot of my friends have been struggling with lately, which is the societal expectation that girls our age (college through early twenties) need to have boyfriends - or even a certain ring on a certain finger - to be happy and successful. Some of my friends are between relationships and some have never even been in one, and as we get closer to the end of college and the start of our professional lives in the Real World, they're getting more and more antsy about not having a +1.

This has contributed to what may be the absolute worst dating mistake a girl can make: settling. When that sorority date party or family reunion comes around and you don't want to go alone, it's all too easy to ask that Axe-drenched guy in the cargo shorts who let you borrow a pencil in Stats once, but guess what? Unless he's a foreign prince (doubtful) or Ryan Gosling's secret brother (even more doubtful), you're better off going alone - or, better yet, with your bestie! I've been guilty of settling on guys for party dates in the past and I definitely ended up standing in a parking lot while a guy told me point-blank that his uncle is a werewolf so I think I've learned my lesson.

Here's my advice: if 60 is the new 40 (and it is), what does that make 20? We're still young, we're still figuring things out, and we're still learning who we are. It's all well and good to have a guy around to take you out on a Friday night but should that really be the priority? Or should our focus be more on creating our Best Selves? We only get these years - some of the best of our lives - once, and we should enjoy them for what they are and for the opportunities they bring us, not for how many #mcm posts you can line up.

Ultimately, the most important person in your life needs to be yourself. You don't need a man to buy you the Louboutins you've had your eye on; you need a great job that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning, and then you can save up and buy the shoes for yourself. Girl power, right? And I'm pretty sure Carrie had it right when she said that boys and babies are great but your best friends are your soulmates. They were there before that guy on Tinder and they'll be there when he breaks your heart over text three days before your birthday.

Prioritize yourself. Don't settle. Guys are fun but so is going out with your girls, eating ice cream for dinner, spending your paycheck on what you want, and starfishing all over your bed. You'll never be this free again so don't tie yourself down just for some arm candy to show off on Insta.

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